Sweetness Remembered

We pulled up to Allen Birthing Center and Taggart asked, "Is this where Eli was born?" Yep, and so were you smart guy! He wanted to take pics in front of where he was born...should have let him get in the bathtub!

Necessary Pressure

Bear with me, this is how my mind works The other night Taggart kept asking to "see my diamonds" (my wedding rings). I told him "no, no, no" and then finally after continued asking I agreed and told him "if you sit right beside me". As he was looking at and trying on "my diamonds" the nerd in me came out and I started thinking about how long these former chunks of coal were enduring immense pressure to finally become "my diamonds". Then I thought about all the struggles, pain and pressure we endure in this world. Just like pressure is necessary to transform coal into a diamond, our struggles are necessary and are used for God's glory. He allows heartache so that we, through turning to Him for strength, transform from dull, common lumps of coal to bright, shining diamonds. Shine on!

"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

God Hears Our Prayers

As Taggart and I left Elijah's graveside he said "Bye baby brother, I love you." like he always does and I cried like I always do. But this time Taggart said something that he never had before. Here's the conversation we had:

T: Mommy, it's ok, you don't have to cry. Eli is in heaven with Jesus.
Me: I know he is, honey. Mommy just misses him a whole bunch.
T: You know you will get to see Eli when you get to heaven. He will come up to you with all the other babies and say "Will you pick me up and hold me, mommy?".
Me: Sweetie, I can't wait to hold him.
T: He can't wait either.

Taggart didn't know that moments before he tried to make me feel better I had said a silent prayer asking God to lift me up and hold me in His arms - I miss my baby boy and I needed to feel God's love. Today, God showed me His love through the innocent words of a precious almost 3 year old little boy. My prayer was answered immediately.

Friends, I learned a lesson from Taggart today. Our words can be blessings to others! When your spiritual gut tells you to say something - say it! When it tells you to do something - do it! God may be trying to use you to deliver an answer to someone's prayer.

As for "all the other babies" that I get to meet when I get to heaven. Mommas, if I get there before you, know that I'll pick them all up and let them know how much they are loved!

Throwing Caution to the Wind

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

Are you listening or just hearing? For a long time I heard what God was trying to say but I didn't want to listen because what I was hearing didn't match up with my plans or the goals I had for myself. I was trying to control my life by carefully weighing all options and in most cases, not doing a thing because I couldn't decide which option was best. Last Sunday I finally allowed myself to listen to how God was advising me and decided to obey and walk by faith. Pastor David Daniels said that if there is not an element of risk in the way we are living our lives, we are not walking by faith. That moment I decided to loosen my grip on the things of this world and all I was trying to control and calculate, and simply walk by faith through the door that God had opened for me. You can here the whole pep talk, I mean sermon here. Today was my last day as a LivingSocial employee and I'm going to miss my job, my team and all my co-workers dearly and although I do not know what's going to happen in this next chapter of my life, I do know that I'm receiving the reward of knowing what it feels like to depend on God and God alone. I'm letting go of my fear, letting go of my pride, letting go of the grip I had so tightly around what was comfortable, and I'm stepping out and saying, "God, what's next? Use me. Guide me."

God opened a door and I walked through it. I have no idea how this story ends but God does, and He's smiling, so I will too! Now, let me ask you what was asked to me on Sunday: What would you do today if you knew God was in it and there was a great chance for success?

Thank you to all who have encouraged me this past week and spoke truth into my life. I love you all! Thank you, Joey for all of your love and support. I can't wait to simply be your wife and the mother of your children. I love you, I love us! Thank you LivingSocial for a tremendous two and a half years!