Cullin Darden Limer

Today is bittersweet. Joyful to celebrate the 1st birthday of Cullin Limer, and saddened that he's not here with us. His parents, Ginny and Scott, have hope they will see him again when they are welcomed to heaven and I can't wait to meet the little guy that surely knows my sweet Elijah.

Happy, happy birthday Cullin!

Cullin's mommy, Ginny, is the founder of Scared Sidless. Scared Sidless is a non~profit organization that provides love, support, and resources to families who have endured the loss of a child. They offer help with lantern releases, chalk therapy for surviving siblings, meals, support and much more. Please share their web site and Facebook page so Scared Sidless can continue to be a blessing to families struggling with the loss of an infant.

This Battle is Not Our Own

On Elijah's 9 month birthday I'm reminded of many things but the most important is that the battle I'm facing after the loss of Eli and the battle that you're currently facing is not ours, but God's. We can't do this alone and the great news is that we don't have to! God promises awesome things to his children but He also promises something that we (well, I) would be just fine without Him giving me. He promises that all who have a heart for Jesus and desire to cling to Him will face trials. Satan will attack us - and he likes to kick while we're down. We will be persecuted. We will be given a load too heavy to bear alone. This is a fact. God didn't promise that life as a Christian would be easy - quite the opposite - but He did promise it would be worth it.

You know my current battle. What is yours? Your finances? Your health? Your relationships? Your children? All of these are not your battles to fight! However, being a follower of Christ doesn't get us off the hook. We still have a duty in our struggles and I'll be the first to say that this duty can at times seem more difficult that just trying to fight the battle ourselves. Knowing that I can't win this battle alone I'm throwing out the white flag in surrender and obeying the one task I'm charged with.

That task is to TRUST in the Lord and BELIEVE His promises are true - even when things seem impossible and unthinkable. Even when you feel hopeless and defeated.
Whatever your battle is today, I challenge you to surrender and stop trying to fight this war alone. Fully trust in the Lord and His will for your life, and furthermore EXPECT Him to answer your prayers in ways that are more powerful than you could have ever imagined. Elevate your vision on God - pray for BIG things - be still and allow HIM to work in your life - THANK Him for all you are given - depend on his mercy and grace - shine for Him.

Your battles can end quickly or can absolutely outstay their welcome. The choice is ours. Through my struggles and pain I have chosen to throw my hands up and praise the Lord for His faithfulness and trust the plan that He has made and the path on which He is guiding me.

Thank you all for encouraging me to stay strong and turn my eyes toward the Lord. Every time I hear from one of you my focus is sharpened and my faith renewed. I love you all.

I love you Elijah.

A Repurposed Reminder

I often open to this place in my Bible to run my hand across the page where I once placed Elijah. Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” My intention was to have this image serve as a reminder to Elijah as he grew up and faced the curve balls life would throw his way. A reminder of a promise that God has a plan for him through every blessing, every failure, every heartbreak and every joy.

Elijah was a quick study and fulfilled God's purpose for his life faster that I would have liked! However, this picture still serves its original purpose. God has used my good intentions for my sweet baby boy as a reminder for myself, for you and for all you share this with, that our entire life is already a memory to Him. He knows our tomorrows and He is ready, willing and able to aide in our mental, physical and spiritual rebuilding after storms (small or large) throw us off course or completely wreck the life we were so happily living.

Today we have been without Elijah for 5 months. That seems so wrong to type, even worse to say aloud. As I reflect on the time God gave me with Elijah and the time He has given me without him, I'm overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts and feelings. So blessed and so thankful, so joyous and so peaceful, yet so hurt and so sad, so depressed and so broken. It has been such a roller coaster and I'm certain I will continue to have highs and lows. Not only surrounding the loss of my amazingly perfect, Elijah, but highs and lows regarding storms that will surely hit in the future.

Through this there is a good part - the best part. God has already seen me walk through all the upsets of my life and He promises that there will be a day when I know no hurt, no pain, no sorrow; shed no tears and have no worries. There will be a day when I meet Him face to face and the events of my life on Earth will make sense. A day when I will be reunited with Elijah. Finally, all the jagged puzzle pieces of my life that have cut me so deeply will fit together to make a beautiful picture that can only be seen from Heaven above. Clarity will be revealed.

Until that day I will put one foot in front of the other, praising Him for each puzzle piece that is creating me and completing my life.

I love you Eli.

A pretty end to a pretty tough day

The view of the sunset from Elijah's grave at Emerald Hills.

Feeling Thankful for Blessings and Struggles

Be thankful not only for the blessings in our life but also for the struggles we endure. The biggest/best growth often emerges from the situations that take us to the deepest depths. With our faith, hope and trust in God all things will work together for our good because His love never fails...and He said so!