A Repurposed Reminder

I often open to this place in my Bible to run my hand across the page where I once placed Elijah. Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” My intention was to have this image serve as a reminder to Elijah as he grew up and faced the curve balls life would throw his way. A reminder of a promise that God has a plan for him through every blessing, every failure, every heartbreak and every joy.

Elijah was a quick study and fulfilled God's purpose for his life faster that I would have liked! However, this picture still serves its original purpose. God has used my good intentions for my sweet baby boy as a reminder for myself, for you and for all you share this with, that our entire life is already a memory to Him. He knows our tomorrows and He is ready, willing and able to aide in our mental, physical and spiritual rebuilding after storms (small or large) throw us off course or completely wreck the life we were so happily living.

Today we have been without Elijah for 5 months. That seems so wrong to type, even worse to say aloud. As I reflect on the time God gave me with Elijah and the time He has given me without him, I'm overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts and feelings. So blessed and so thankful, so joyous and so peaceful, yet so hurt and so sad, so depressed and so broken. It has been such a roller coaster and I'm certain I will continue to have highs and lows. Not only surrounding the loss of my amazingly perfect, Elijah, but highs and lows regarding storms that will surely hit in the future.

Through this there is a good part - the best part. God has already seen me walk through all the upsets of my life and He promises that there will be a day when I know no hurt, no pain, no sorrow; shed no tears and have no worries. There will be a day when I meet Him face to face and the events of my life on Earth will make sense. A day when I will be reunited with Elijah. Finally, all the jagged puzzle pieces of my life that have cut me so deeply will fit together to make a beautiful picture that can only be seen from Heaven above. Clarity will be revealed.

Until that day I will put one foot in front of the other, praising Him for each puzzle piece that is creating me and completing my life.

I love you Eli.